"Sorry to Bother You"

What your provider really thinks about your questions

If you only knew how often your name crosses my mind, you would have texted sooner.

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Un-asked questions can trigger a snowball of sleepless nights, caregiver burnout, falsely being labeled as a “drug seeker,” delay in treatment, or (often unnecessary) hospitalizations.

Good providers (MD, DO, PA, NP, ND, PT, RD, etc) are taught to ask questions of patients to better diagnose, treat and evaluate response to therapy. But you know as well as I that, in a 15-minute follow-up visit before you head to the next chemo treatment, it is difficult to ask every possible question.

We need you to ask us questions, to tell us about your side effects, to request the refills when the fax doesn’t come through from the pharmacy, express your fears so we can know to address them.

We try to ask all the right questions, but we need help too.

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Oncology is a unique space in which anxiety is often warranted or at the very least, understood.

Many of my anxieties center around my patients. I worry about the side effects of chemotherapy, that they are holding back asking for help, that scans will show growth of the cancer, that they will go on hospice before I can say goodbye. I fear a missed symptom, the possibility for human error, or the questions I cannot answer.

I do recognize this doesn’t compare to the stress and fear experienced by a patient or caregiver. I just want to convey that your team thinks about you often.

So, when you text and ask for a refill on your pain medications, I am excited to help. This is a symptom with an effective treatment that I can tangibly respond to, resulting in improving your comfort.

Thank you for asking.

Take this as your reminder to write down your questions, message them in the patient portal, ask us why the labs have not resulted, tell us the hospital has not called to schedule your CT scan, confirm that you really are due for treatment this week, ask for clarification on something we breezed when discussing possible treatment side effects.

You are not a bother. We are here to answer your questions, please ask them.

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Thank you for being here,

PS. I understand every field has underperformers, and medicine is not exempt. We have off days, or some completely lack the empathy you need. I am sorry. Do what you can to advocate for yourself. Don’t let other make you feel bad for searching out answers and taking care of yourself. You are deserving of quality, genuine care.

PS #2. And for those who have read this far just to figure out why I chose that picture, the first and most logical reason is the appearance of a hand reaching out for help. Much like a patient reaching out with questions. The second reason is that my attention was captured by the raw artistic sketching embellished with pops of color. So, I decided I could justify using it here under the guise of the first reason. I hope you enjoyed it.