To the Anxious Ones
Letters to my patients, day 26
I make you nauseous.
Okay, maybe not me, but driving to the clinic every 2 weeks sends your heart racing and you start to feel sick to your stomach before treatment even starts. Your body is a fast learner. Anticipatory anxiety is real.
At age 35, you did not start this cancer journey already taking any medications. Partly because you had not been to the doctor in years, partly because you were relatively healthy. Therefore you are understandably resistant to adding any prescriptions to your arsenal.
But I have to address your anxiety.
There are medications that you can take for a few months, while undergoing chemotherapy, and then taper off when the anxiety trigger is completed. There are medications you can take as needed for the anxiety, to help sleep or to use on the days you are coming for treatment. There are therapists you can talk to, who understand this difficult journey and can work through it with you. Or, you can decide to do nothing.
As long as you acknowledge that there are options, I will not be upset that you choose to “do nothing.” Because, as long as you keep coming in every 2 weeks, we will be doing something. We will keep facing your fears, talking about the side effects, discussing prognosis, observing your symptoms, addressing your questions. And as time goes along, the unknowns find answers and your anxiety lessens.
I am not here to convince you to take medications for every side effect you experience on this journey — though there are some out there that can be so helpful, even in the short term. I am here to make sure you know about those for when you decide you are ready, if that time comes.
But today, you elect to sit with anxiety, to push through treatment and get it over with. I will honor that.
When you are feeling anxious, take what you need:
Anxiety is natural, especially on this journey.
There are options to lessen my anxiety, if I want them.
I will talk about my fears, everybody has them.
The further I get in this journey, the more I will understand and hopefully my anxiety lessens.
It is okay to need help during this time — medications, therapists, support groups. I am worthy of help.
My team is here to support me, I will be honest with them about how I feel.
I am doing hard things, I will rest when I can.
I will keep taking this one day at a time.
Thank you for being here,
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This is part of a 31-day series of letters to my patients — those undergoing a work-up, diagnosis, or treatment for cancer. Topics are also focused on those caregiving and supporting individuals affected by cancer. This is not an easy journey, but you do not have to do it alone.